Life on Pause by Erin McLellan

Author:Erin McLellan [McLellan, Erin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Published: 2017-10-28T18:30:00+00:00

Niles’s heart raced as he said goodbye to Jackie and Margo. Jackie hugged him, which was a surprise, and he patted her back a couple of times, like a bro hug, so he was obviously still an awkward nerd. As he walked to his car, his palms tingled and sweat broke along his spine and the backs of his knees.

Dinner had been fun, which made the storm of insecurities and confusion and recriminations brewing in his mind all the more painful. Jackie had been sassy and sarcastic and a bit of a hard-ass, and he’d wanted to impress her so badly. And Margo had been shy and sweet and wrapped up in her own little kid world.

But Rusty had been stiff, and not in the fun way either. Something had him on edge, and Niles had a sneaking suspicion he knew what it was.

Because Niles was on edge too.

Rusty followed him back to his house in his own car, but Niles had a slight head start. He climbed out of his Mazda and watched the wind rustle the leaves of the oak tree in the front yard. He remembered sitting under the tree with his mom during summer evenings where the air had been so sticky you’d practically needed gills to be able to breathe. They’d sat out there and watched lightning bugs flash their love songs to each other. He’d missed his chance to do that this summer. Now it was October, and all the lightning bugs were dead.

Niles walked toward the rotting wooden bench under the tree. No one had sat on it in years. Rusty arrived and settled in beside him a couple of minutes later. It was romantic—the cool breeze and the bright moon painting the dark yard with soft light. It would have been perfect, a perfect moment, if he wasn’t so confused.

Niles leaned his head against Rusty’s shoulder, and Rusty held his hand.

“I used to sit here with my mom in the summers, waiting for my dad to get home from the Tire Shop.” A calm pressed in on Niles, but not the pleasant kind. It was the shutting-down-so-you-don’t-have-to-deal type of calm.

“It’s beautiful,” Rusty said against the top of Niles’s head.

“My dad’s not getting better. He’ll eventually get an infection or there will be some complication, and that will be it. He’s dying. Part of me wishes it would happen soon. He’s just a shell, it seems. It’s like no one is home, and I hate seeing him like that. That’s selfish, isn’t it?”

Maybe if he talked about his dad, he could postpone the pain threatening to overwhelm him.

“I don’t think it’s selfish. It’s life, which is hard and unfair sometimes, and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.”

Niles nodded. A gust of wind shook several leaves from the oak, and they fluttered close enough for him to touch before landing at his feet. This time of year always made Niles sad—there was something formidable about summer turning to fall—but Dad had always loved it.

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